spaceconfessional:

basiacat:

bucky spending hours at that smithsonian exhibit, staring at everything, watching every single one of the little “newsreel” clips, getting escorted out of the museum because he’s the last one there, sir, you must not have heard our announcements, but we’re open at ten tomorrow

bucky going to the exhibit every single day for a week straight and that one older security guard is so nice to him, telling him in a low, conspiratory whisper one evening that he was there when the captain america costume got stolen by captain america himself, isn’t that just ridiculous? and you’re a dead ringer for sergeant barnes, son, you’d look good in that costume

bucky finally showing up on steve’s doorstep on a rainy evening – it’s a spacious old brownstone, sam up tippy-top, steve on the ground floor, nat in the basement – and he’d had a whole speech prepared and carefully memorized but when he sees steve’s shocked face it all crumbles and he just sort of scrambles to catch his breath, hands clenched tight in his coat pockets, prosthesis whirring, and steve just looks at him for a solid minute then tells him to come in, they’ll throw some couch cushions on the ground, it’ll be like old times, and bucky just breaks

it’s messy and it’s horrible and bucky wakes up screaming almost every night but steve is steady and solid and reassuring like he’s always been, and he asks natasha and bruce to help him find a psychologist after bucky confesses to him, barely whispering, that he thinks he needs some Help

steve being gentle with bucky because god it was hard enough to get thrown into the 21st century but getting tortured, electrocuted, tossed in and out of cryo, practically lobotomized––

steve being so fucking gentle when he helps bucky sort through his memories, starts telling him stories and leaving out details and watching that old grin slide across bucky’s face when he remembers something steve didn’t mention

steve and bucky going back to that smithsonian exhibit together on a slow, snowy wednesday morning when everyone’s at work and at school, taking their time, and there are a couple of moments where bucky starts to shut down but steve touches his shoulder or his back and they move through it together

running into that old security guard as they leave and when bucky winks at him, steve has to hide a grin because that’s absolutely the bucky that he grew up with

sometimes it’s a step forward and sometimes it’s three steps back; bucky is pretty sure the nightmares will be a constant for the rest of his life but that’s okay, because steve is there every time and–– –

well, to the end of the line, right?